Domestic violence (also called intimate partner violence (IPV), domestic abuse or relationship abuse) is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship.
People who have never been abused often wonder why a person wouldn’t just leave an abusive relationship. They don’t understand that leaving can be more complicated than it seems. Leaving is often the most dangerous time for a victim of abuse, because abuse is about power and control. When a victim leaves, they are taking control and threatening the abusive partner’s power, which could cause the abusive partner to retaliate in very destructive ways. National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/
The following are examples of Domestic Violence/Abuse PHYSICAL ABUSE: Grabbing, pinching, shoving, slapping, hitting, hair pulling, biting, etc.; denying medical care or forcing alcohol and/or drug use. SEXUAL ABUSE: Coercing or attempting to coerce any sexual contact without consent, e.g., marital rape; forcing sex after physical beating; attacks on sexual parts of the body or treating another in a sexually demeaning manner; forcing the victim to perform sexual acts on another person, perform sexual acts via the Internet, or forcing the victim to pose for sexually explicit photographs against his/her will. ECONOMIC ABUSE: Making or attempting to make a person financially dependent, e.g., maintaining total control over financial resources, withholding access to money, forbidding attendance at school or employment. EMOTIONALABUSE: Undermining a person’s sense of self-worth, e.g., constant criticism, belittling one’s abilities, name calling, damaging a partner’s relationship with the children. An abuser may also use his/her or your HIV-positive status or sexual orientation as a means to control you. For example, an abuser may threaten to reveal your HIV status or your sexual identity. PSYCHOLOGICALABUSE: Causing fear by intimidation, threatening physical harm to himself/herself, you, your family member, or your children; destruction of pets and property; stalking you or cyberstalking you, playing “mind games” to make you doubt your sanity (gaslighting); forcing isolation from friends, family, school and/or work; humiliating you; and demeaning you. SEXUALCOERCIONANDREPRODUCTIVECONTROL: When a partner sabotages your birth control efforts by demanding unprotected sex, lying about “pulling out,” hiding or destroying birth control (i.e., flushing pills down the toilet or poking a hole in a condom), preventing you from getting an abortion or forcing you to get an abortion. CULTURALANDIDENTITYABUSE: Threatening to “out” your sexual orientation or gender identity, your participation in S & M or polyamory, your HIV status, your immigration status, or any other personal information to family, friends, co-workers, landlords, law enforcement, etc. Using your race, class, age, immigration status, religion, size, physical ability, language, and/or ethnicity against you in some way. https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse/forms-abuse/domestic-violencedating-violence
***Cultural and Identity Abuse*** Regarding Religion, i.e. Church (All Churches). "Domestic & Family Violence (DFV) is a significant problem within our churches. I’ve watched this play out keenly, noting the shock and the renewed calls to bring about change. In fact, I believe we all need to consider the possibility that we might all be unwittingly partnering in the violence. Churches are families. The dynamics of domestic and family violence can be fostered and replicated within any family system, and churches are not exempt from that. For meaningful change to come, we’ll need to look at the systemic, relational and cultural factors that are at play".